


Tides

by BettyHT



Series: Troian [3]
Category: Bonanza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 17:26:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16045139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BettyHT/pseuds/BettyHT
Summary: Third and final story in the Troian series:  the truth has to come out, but there are other concerns as well involving Joe's wife and a happier one with Hoss' romance.





	Tides

Tides

Chapter 1

"Papa, why do I look more like Adam than I look like you? Everyone says so. Even Sheriff Coffee said so at church on Sunday. He always says that."

"Well, you don't have the same hair color as Adam. He has very black hair and yours is reddish brown. His hair is wavy too especially with curls in the back."

"But does he have dimples like mine and eyes like mine?"

"Yes, Jamie, he does."

"Does he have lips that look like mine?"

"Yes, your lips look quite a bit like his."

"Is he skinny like me?"

"No, he is actually rather muscular and broad chested like me."

"Oh. I guess we aren't exactly the same then. I'll go help Hop Sing then. He likes it when I help him. I finished my school work. It was easy."

Glad that Jamie didn't ask any questions comparing his skills in school and his intelligence to Adam, Ben leaned back and thought a bit. He had been debating doing something for quite some time and decided he had to do it. He pulled out some paper and began to write. He had told Troian he was going to do it. When he had first broached the possibility, she had objected saying it wasn't necessary, but the more they had talked about it and the more she observed her son, the more she accepted that it was the only way.

Dear Adam,

Son, your son Jamie came to me again today with questions that I had to answer. I couldn't lie to him so I evaded as well as I could, but he has noticed that he resembles you more than he does me. Each time he asks me that question, I evade because I cannot bring myself to tell him a lie. He's a very intelligent boy, and I'm afraid that he will know I am lying as well as the moral problem I have with the act itself. Your picture on my desk as well as the family photos you send have been studied by him. He is insatiably curious, a trait you have said your son Abel shares, and I remember well that same trait in you as a child. Jamie is almost eight years old and becoming aware of many things in the world. He is precocious and paying attention to much that adults say. I know that when you left, you did so with the best of motives and intentions to spare me and to spare Jamie from gossip and humiliation of the truth of our situation. However, many have guessed and as Jamie grows older, more are guessing. Roy Coffee has guessed the truth. In fact, he knew when Jamie was only a few months old. I'm sure others guessed the truth that soon too especially as Troian and I were not the most loving couple especially in those early years of our marriage. If not now, at some point in the future, that secret will not be secret but common knowledge as more and more people talk and Jamie grows more into the spitting image of you.

What I'm asking is that you consider coming home soon to talk with your son. He needs to hear the truth from his father. I would hate for him to hear it with some gossip spoken by children who have heard it from their parents. I'll be here too and his mother is here. We'll have to help him to accept what has happened and the unusual circumstances in which he will find himself. I'm sure we can work this out so that our family can heal and that Jamie can accept what has happened, but only the truth will let that healing begin. Son, it's time. We've talked it out between us in letters over the years, but that won't do for your son. He needs to know you. I hope you're ready now to accept that and return to be his father. I look forward to your response and pray that it is positive. After much thought and prayer, I am convinced that it is the right thing to do and the only thing to do. Please, pray and seek His guidance, and I feel you will reach the same conclusion. I look forward to hearing from you, and hope that you agree. As always, I will do the best I can whatever is decided.

Your father, Ben.

Knowing that letter might take two months to arrive in his son's hands and even if Adam agreed with him and decided it was time to return, there would be significant work that needed to be done before he could make that trip, Ben resolved to find a way to talk to Jamie and try to prepare him for the news that he was inevitably going to learn. Ben knew too that it was time to talk to Joe and to Hoss about this subject. He found time to talk with Hoss first finding him working in the stable later that week and told him about the content of the letter he had written to Adam.

"Dadburnit, this is gonna be awful hard on Jamie."

"Yes, I expect it will be difficult for him. He is close to you and may come to you for comfort or advice because you're not part of the complex situation in which he will find himself. I hope you will be able to help him understand that no one meant any harm by what was done."

"Mebbe Joe kin help too."

"Joe is very wrapped up in his new family now too. I'm afraid his attention isn't going to be focused on Jamie with a new wife and a baby on the way as well as a new house."

"Yeah, that is a lot to take care of. Pa, you know I'll be here for Jamie. I'm cain't wait ta see Adam too. It's been way too long. I wonder what he looks like now, and he's got two young'uns." Hoss paused then. "I guess I should say three. Now, his wife knows all about this, right?"

"Yes, Adam told her the whole story before they were married so she has known about it from the beginning. I'm glad he was honest with her from the start. Honesty from all of us would have helped a great deal to avoid this situation in the first place, but that can't be helped now."

"Pa, you gonna be all right with people talking about us and such cause you know there's gonna be talk."

"Hoss, there's talk already. We both know that. Once it's all out there, yes, there will likely be a real flare up of talk, but then it will be over because who wants to gossip about what everyone else already knows?"

"Pa, what's Troian gonna say 'bout all this? She all right with this?" Seeing how Ben looked away and frowned, Hoss had a good idea of how that had gone if it had been discussed at all. "Seems to me you two better get it right between you before you ever think to bring it up with Jamie and long before Adam gets here or it's gonna be even worse."

"We've talked about it in general terms so many times, she has to know how I've been thinking, but I have to admit, I'm worried about actually saying it to her."

"Pa, you're saying the truth is what Jamie deserves. Well, seems to me it's what all of us have to start thinking on doing. Bin too much of not being entirely truthful 'bout too much for too long. So now I got another question for ya. How are you gonna be ifn Adam tells him the truth and he wants to go live with his pa? Ya said you told Adam to come back to be his father. Well, you know how Adam is about his responsibilities. He don't do nothing half way."

"He'll still be my grandson as Adam is my son."

"Pa, Adam will come back 'cause he said he would, but I don't think he's gonna come back the same as when he left." Hoss said no more leaving his statement hanging there. His father knew what he meant. Adam wasn't going to move back into his room and resume the life he had before he left. Adam had a wife, two children, and significant business interests now that had nothing to do with the Ponderosa. His life wasn't here any more so even if he returned, he wasn't going to be living here on the ranch. His father could hope or dream that he might build a house on the ranch as Joe had done when he married, but Hoss was certain that was not going to happen.

Knowing what Hoss was implying and accepting it in his mind even if his heart wanted to reject the thought, Ben had nothing more to say. His middle son was the wisest counselor in the family and had given him a lot to consider. He had known too that he should be talking more to Troian about this whole situation but had been avoiding it because he was fairly certain too that the end result of the letter he had sent was that Jamie would end up living with Adam and away from the Ponderosa. It would be his fault in Troian's eyes and he wouldn't be able to deny it. It was time to have that conversation with her, but he needed to find time when Jamie wouldn't be around for a while so that both of them could be composed by the time he returned. He vastly overestimated Troian's ability to compose herself after such a conversation. Their opportunity to speak in depth about the subject came that Sunday when Hoss volunteered to take Jamie for a picnic and fishing at the lake. Troian had been able to tell for days that her husband had something weighing heavily on his mind, and when Hoss took Jamie for the day, she knew that the subject involved her but never guessed what it was. Ben shocked her when he told her what he had written to Adam.

"How could you do that without consulting me? Jamie is my son. I have every right to be part of decisions about his life."

"Yes, you do, but so does his father, and it's about time that he comes here to start doing that."

"You've been his father for eight years. Why does that have to change?"

"Because I'm not his father and his father is alive, well, and quite capable of being a father to his son. Gossip shouldn't be what stops that from happening. We were so worried about the scandal. What we should have worried about was Jamie."

"Yes, and we should worry about him now. What will this do to him? You want to tear him from the only roots he has. You want to shatter his world and leave him questioning everything."

"No, he's already questioning. He frequently asks me why he looks more like Adam than he looks like me, and I can't lie to him. I have successfully evaded answering his questions directly, but he's a very smart boy. He's going to figure that out soon enough. Then what? What happens when he finds out that we have been lying to him? What happens if he hears the story at school because we know that people have been talking and children overhear things?"

"But what will he think of me?"

"Probably the same as he will think of me and of Adam: that we're human and we make mistakes. He's getting old enough to learn that lesson."

For a time. Troian sat with her head down and tears streaming that she wiped away with her hands balled into impotent fists. She felt as if her whole world was crumbling. Then a new fear surfaced. Scared, she looked at Ben to beseech him. "What if Adam wants to take Jamie with him? What if he wants Jamie to live with him and his family?" Ben said nothing and she knew. "That's what you think too. You want that, don't you? You don't want Jamie living here. He reminds you of what I did and that Adam had me first."

Not able to deny that he wanted Jamie to go live with Adam at least for a time to get to know his father, Ben also didn't want him to leave but knew it was best for Jamie. There was some truth in her accusation too but that had nothing to do with his decision. It did still hurt that Adam and Troian had been together and he had not known about that. Unable to explain his feelings because they were so contradictory, he said nothing and Troian thought the worst.

"And you think that Adam's wife will be a better mother to Jamie than I am? She leaves her children in the care of a nanny as she goes off to take care of sick people and brings back who knows what to her home."

"She's a doctor, Troian, so I'm sure she knows how to avoid putting her family in harm's way."

"And will she feel that same way about Adam's child from another woman?"

The conversation was going in directions Ben didn't like. This was another question he had considered and about which he did worry somewhat. All he could do was go back to his original premise. "Troian, isn't it better that Jamie know the truth and that he know his father? He will learn that someday, and he will not be forgiving if we are not honest with him. I know because he is so much like Adam. We can't think about what is best for us. We have to think about what is best for Jamie. You brought up troubling issues. I understand because I've thought about those same things. I don't have answers for you. All I can do is come back to the same thing. What is the best for Jamie?"

"Shouldn't he be with his mother?"

"You've had him for eight years."

"I don't want to give him away."

"You won't be. You will be placing him in his father's care if it comes to that, and we will still see him. He is your son and my grandson. We will see him often. I can promise you that. He may not be with his father all the time either. Adam has two children and businesses to run. I'm sure that he will give Jamie the time that he can, but he has other demands on his time too. He will need help with Jamie, and we'll be here to help. We'll see Jamie. I can promise that."

"How can you promise that?"

"Because I trust Adam."

Chapter 2

While Troian went into depression thinking of what she was going to probably lose, Jamie worried about his mother. She was frequently wiping away tears and telling him it was nothing to worry about to the point that Ben told her that she was going to have to do a better job of putting on a good face around their son. She did better after that, but Hoss and Ben could still see the strain in her face and posture even if Jamie seemed relieved that she was no longer crying and smiled and laughed with him as she had before she had that big talk with Ben. When Hoss had a chance, he brought up the subject with Joe after telling his father he thought it would be best if the two brothers talked it out before Ben talked with Joe.

"It's going to be great having Adam back. The family just hasn't seemed right with him gone."

"Joe, there's one thing I ain't tole ya yet. Pa wants Adam to tell Jamie the truth."

Pausing then in his work, Joe looked at Hoss uncertain as to why Hoss looked so worried. "I've thought for years that the truth should come out. It's going to be best for everyone for us to have the truth be told. It probably should have been told right away. I understand why Adam did what he did, but we both know it didn't really work. Jamie looks too much like him. People were guessing at the truth all along. The gossip he wanted to avoid is out there anyway."

"Yeah, lately Jamie's asked me why he looks more like Adam than Pa. I never did know what to say to him. Pa says Jamie done asked him the same, and Pa couldn't lie to him. He did his best to avoid answering direct like. But you know how smart Jamie is. He knows there's something strange, but you can bet that boy ain't got no idea what the story really is."

"It's gonna be hard on him when people start talking. There's going to be a lot of staring and words said. I wish Jamie didn't have to be here for that."

"There's a good chance he won't be."

"What?"

"Pa's kinda thinking that Jamie might be going to live with Adam. Jamie's real smart and he could really do a lot better spending some time with his own pa."

"Our Pa is smart."

"He is, but it ain't the same thing. Jamie wants that book learning and wants to learn about all sorts of things that we ain't got here."

"But if Adam's coming back, how would things be any different?" But after only a few seconds, Joe knew. "Because Adam won't live here. He would probably live in San Francisco like he was before he left for Australia. He won't live on the ranch. It won't ever be the same, will it, Hoss?"

"No, it won't ever be the same, but it's still gonna be great to have our brother back at least close enough to see 'im. I been missing 'im something fierce. And he's got a wife, a son, and a daughter that we ain't ever met. They're family and they ought to be here."

"Why didn't Pa tell me if he told you?"

"Cause I asked him to let me tell you. I know that when you and Pa get to talking 'bout things you sometimes git to arguing before you talk it all the way through. This way I figure you'll have heard it all out, and now you can go talk to Pa so you two can talk more calm like."

Slightly offended at hearing that assessment, Joe couldn't maintain his negative attitude and had to admit that Hoss was probably correct. He agree to have a talk with their father about the situation and not get angry about it. When he talked with Ben, Joe was surprised to find that his father was more disturbed about the possibilities than he was. Afterwards, he realized how hard it would be for his father to let go of Jamie even as he adjusted to his new role as Jamie's grandfather. At the same time, he would have to deal with Troian and her emotional distress over the situation. Joe was happy then that his wife and family life although troubled by Alice's brother were more straightforward. If only her brother wasn't such a ne'er-do-well gambler and dishonest as well. He had to wonder how that was going to turn out but expected that it wasn't going to be a good result for his brother-in-law.

As Joe was thinking those thoughts, Adam was having his last dinner with his cousin which was as close to a brother-in-law that he had. Connor was as protective as Grace as a brother, and he was worried about this move to America though he had known it was coming ever since Adam and Grace had married. After more than seven years had passed with no move, Connor had allowed himself to begin to hope that perhaps Adam wouldn't move, but he did know that Adam had been making investments in America for years with profits from their business. However even now, Adam wasn't selling off all of his properties in Australia. They were keeping Grace's house in Sydney, and Adam was keeping his share of the business with Connor.

"I wouldn't pull my investment out and risk harming the company, Connor. You've been great to me and to Grace. I would never do that to you. You have my proxy to make decisions for the firm, and as possible, Grace and I hope to be able to come back for visits. It won't be often, but we don't want to turn our backs on our home here."

"My concern is that you believe that now, but once you are fully engaged in your life in America, you won't have time for those visits. I will miss Grace and the children so much."

"Connor, one of my investments is a small shipping company. I hope to buy some newer ships and improve the speed of my line to offer some of the fastest delivery times in the Pacific. With that, I can carve out a special niche in the market against the larger companies."

"As long as money is no object?"

Grinning then because he and Connor understood each other so well in business matters, Adam nodded. "Yes, of course. I didn't say it was going to be the cheapest delivery in the Pacific."

"So, weather permitting, you leave in one more day?"

"Yes, we've invited Paul and Rachel to dine with us tomorrow evening and the next morning we'll leave on the high tide."

"I wish you well, and if you see some good investments for our company over there, I'll be interested. It would give me a good reason to visit and a chance to see Grace and this wilderness you're taking her to especially as I know someone who's going to be buying some fast ships who can get me there in the comfort and luxury to which I have become accustomed." Pausing briefly, Connor grinned. "You're taking one of those ships to America, aren't you? That's why you were able to book passage for you and your things so fast. It's your ship."

"Guilty as charged." Adam's answering grin was as big. "I ordered a new ship and it was recently delivered. I had the captain and crew hired and had them take the ship on a short trip to be sure it was all working well. The captain assures me it is the fastest ship he has ever had the privilege of commanding. He and the crew are looking forward to the trip too."

"And did Grace get a captain's hat for Abel?"

"No, she bought him black pants, a black shirt, and a black hat. He's quite proud of being a miniature version of me in my casual clothing. Grace told him I'll be wearing that when we get to the ranch so he wants to be ready."

Much of the same was repeated the next evening with Paul and Rachel, but they had a few more questions too. The most important one was about the nanny who had been working for Adam and Grace ever since Abel was born so that Grace could continue working. Paul broached the subject but Rachel's apt attention showed that she was interested too.

"Is Prudence going to be traveling to America with you?"

Prudence had been a nanny to the youngest children of Paul and Rachel, but once Grace had Abel, they had suggested that Adam and Grace had greater need of her services as a nanny and that Prudence preferred to live outside of Sydney which held so many unpleasant memories for her. The home that Adam had outside the city was expanded several times so there was room for her and for the children too.

"Yes, Grace told her that we would let her keep the house in the country if she wanted to stay, but she doesn't want to stay. She's become quite attached to the children, and frankly, I think she's afraid to be alone."

"She could marry and then she wouldn't be alone." Rachel always had high hopes that marriage would be good for any lonely woman because marriage had been so good for her.

Grace smiled benignly. "Prudence hasn't found a man gentle enough and kind enough for her to trust. I don't know if she ever will. She will have a home with us though as long as she needs one. The children adore her, and she makes me comfortable continuing my work. I don't have to worry about the children as long as she's working for us. She's more like family now than a nanny."

"Do you plan to continue working when you go to America?"

Both Paul and Rachel saw the quick glance she gave to Adam and the look he gave to her. Obviously this had been a subject of discussion with them and wasn't settled yet. Grace admitted as much. "Adam isn't sure how that will work out considering where we plan to live. We may have to make some adjustments to our plans."

"On another subject, what will happen to Can-do now that you're leaving? His safety was in your hands. You know that, don't you?" Paul was deeply concerned about the fate of the indigenous people of the country he had adopted, and had been horrified to hear that men went out to hunt the aboriginal men and sometimes the women and children too. Mostly though women were brought in as servants or forcibly taken as to be used as servants and for sexual needs of the men especially in the frontier areas where there were few if any women. It was barbaric but not something he could stop although he preached against violence practiced against any of God's people. Many did not see the indigenous people as God's though so the genocide continued although not as bad as it had been although sadly it would continue for many decades. Adam was well aware too of what had been happening and had taken care for Can-do's future.

"I sold my property to someone who will keep Can-do safe. I made sure of that. I've provided for an account to be sure that food will be provided for his family for many years too. He has been a good and loyal friend. I have done what I can and what he will allow me to do. Snake is staying with him. I'll miss that dog, but Can-do would have missed him more. We're taking one of the pups with us that he sired. He's going to be our new Snake. Abel insisted we call him that."

"Adam, you seem to have everything planned out."

"I knew this day was coming. I've been preparing for it for several years. I don't have everything planned out though."

"Oh, what haven't you planned?"

"My father wants me to tell Jamie the truth. I know he's correct, and I plan to do that, but how am I going to tell my son I walked away from him eight years ago? How will I be able to get him to understand that decision when I'm not sure I understand it myself?"

Chapter 3

"Pa, any more stores close up and any more people board up their houses, and this is gonna start looking like a ghost town."

"It will get better again, Hoss. The silver market goes up and down so fast that many of the mine owners haven't learned how to adjust. The smarter ones know how to hold onto their bullion until the price rises. They're still open."

"I dunno, Pa. According to what I been hearing, the price of silver is going lower. It goes up like you say, but then it goes down further and the ups never quite balance out the downs."

"I'm afraid that's true to some extent. The Comstock has added so much silver to the market that it has brought the price down. Too much success brought us to this point. I'm glad that Adam talked us into selling our silver interests before he left. We made a nice profit. If we had held onto them, we would have sold at a loss if we could have sold them at all. Some of these mines simply shut down."

"Nice to have this Independence Day celebration. At least for a day, everybody kin forget their troubles and worries."

"I'm not so sure I can forget all of mine with Joe riding in that horse race again. He's a husband and soon he'll be a father. I would have thought that he might consider giving up horse racing."

"Aw, Pa, you know Joe and horses. He ain't never gonna give that up no more than me and horseshoes. And speaking of that, I better get over there to make sure I don't miss my turn. The prize is a silver horseshoe this year. I aim to win it."

Ben grinned as Hoss hurried away. Jamie was by his side and the two continued on to the foot races where Jamie planned to compete although like all the other boys waiting with their fathers, they too stopped at the finish line of the horse race to wait to see who won. Troian was sitting with the ladies who had set out the pies and box lunches for the auction that was soon to take place.

No one paid any attention to the train chugging slowly into town or to the family who disembarked. Adam paid to have a porter take their luggage to the hotel and Prudence went with the man to get their rooms ready as Adam led his family to the Independence Day celebration explaining as well as he could what was happening. As they prepared to cross the street, there were yells and people warned them not to cross. Soon thundering hooves warned of the approach of men on horseback racing through town. After they passed by, Adam smiled and turned to his family.

"Well, there went one member of the family. Abel, that was your Uncle Joe on that black and white horse. It's called a Pinto."

"You mean the man who was winning the race?"

"Yes, he was the one who was winning."

"You said he liked horses. You didn't say he was so good at riding them."

"You've seen that for yourself. Now, we can head in that direction. My guess is the rest of the family is probably down that way somewhere."

As Adam walked with Abel making an opening in the crowd so that Grace who was carrying Eleanor could follow, he saw a shooting contest in one of the wide alleys. He paused and Grace knew what he wanted to do.

"Oh, go ahead. We aren't going anywhere fast in this crowd anyway. Maybe if you make enough noise, they'll find us."

"I was thinking that Joe might compete. Maybe he'll find us."

"You don't have to convince me. I already told you to do it. We'll sit on the side and watch."

With a smile and a shrug, Adam walked to the registration table. The two men looked up at him dressed in his city clothing and asked if they could help him.

"Yes, I would like to compete."

"You?"

"Yes, is there some reason I can't?"

"The shooters have already had the first rounds. You'd hafta start in round three."

"What does that mean?"

"The target is moved to fifty yards and you only get one shot. Three best shooters go to round four. It's moved back another ten yards and one more shot and the two best shooters advance. Move it back ten more yards and the best shot wins."

"I'll do it. Ah, can I borrow a rifle to shoot?"

"You want to shoot with a borrowed rifle?"

"Yes, is that a problem?"

The men shook their heads and reached behind them for their rifles both having been eliminated in round one. Adam tested the balance of the two rifles and chose one. He thanked the man for the rifle and paid him for the ammunition he would need and the registration fee. He asked then what the prize was, and they told him it was a brand new Winchester. The other shooters had been waiting and listening smirking with amusement. Their smirks were less pronounced when Adam was one of the three to advance to the next round placing his shot in the inner ring with two of the others. The target was moved back and the three shooters prepared to shoot. One man hit the ring of the inner circle and the other man put his inside the ring. Adam stood to shoot and the man who had hit the ring tried to rattle him.

"Never saw a city slicker could shoot when it mattered. Probably never shot nothing except a paper target in his life anyway. Probably wet himself if there was ever anybody shooting back at him."

Lowering his rifle, Adam looked over at the man. "With your lack of manners, I would imagine you have to worry about men shooting at you rather often."

There was a smattering of chuckles in the crowd because the men there had known it was bad sportsmanship to do what the man had done. They appreciated the cool manner in which Adam had handled it. Adam raised his rifle and fired without wasting any time placing his shot in the center circle. He and the other man were advancing and the poor sport was eliminated. He grumbled and walked off. The man competing against Adam turned to him.

"Good luck. May the best shooter win. My name's Candy."

"I'm Adam. May the best shooter win. After you."

With a nod, Candy stepped to the firing line and took careful aim at the target now ten more yards in the distance and in the shade at the far end of the alley. He fired and hit the ring of the inner circle. Adam nodded at the fine shooting and moved to take his spot. Raising the rifle to his shoulder and carefully seating it there, he lowered it to sight in on the target and carefully squeezed the trigger. The man at the end moved to the target and signaled that Adam had hit the ring also. The crowd was silent for a moment not believing that he could have done that. Adam only smiled and turned to Candy. They had to shoot again. Both hit the inner circle. They had to shoot again. Both hit the inner circle once more. There was no room to move the target further back and the people running the contest wanted a way to have a winner. Candy suggested they toss for it and Adam was game. He lost the toss.

"Good shooting, Candy. Would you mind if I took a look at that rifle you used?"

"Sure, it's a rifle the family I work for gave me to use. It's got real nice balance."

After handling the rifle only briefly, Adam was going to hand it back to Candy. "Yes, it does. It's a fine rifle."

Candy surprised Adam though. "You know, I have a new rifle and I know you borrowed one. Why don't you keep that old one?"

"Thank you. That's very kind of you."

"Good luck to you."

The two shook hands, and both walked away smiling. Grace had to know the story but waited until Candy and others were well away.

"Why are you smiling like you won?"

"It's nostalgia. It's my old rifle. I always liked this rifle and now I have it again. I didn't need a new one, and he wanted that new one so it worked out very well for both of us."

"Should we go look for your family now?"

"I think we can relax here for a while. I have a feeling my family is going to find us soon." Grace had no idea why Adam thought that, but she was tired from the trip, from carrying Eleanor, and from pushing and being pushed by the crowd. Resting and waiting to be found sounded fine to her. They found an unoccupied bench and settled there. Adam got them some popcorn and some water to drink and they waited in the shade to be found.

In the saloon where they had agreed to meet, Ben bought beers for himself and his two sons. Hoss leaned back and admired his shiny new silver horseshoe after winning the horseshoe contest. Joe was admiring the silver belt buckle with the horse emblem on it. Ben relaxed and sipped his beer waiting for Candy who was supposed to join them. Jamie was with his mother and Alice helping to clean up after the auction of the box lunches and the pies that the ladies from the church had done to raise money for the fire department. It had been a good day and they waited to hear how Candy had done in the shooting contest. When he walked in with the new Winchester in hand, both Hoss and Joe jumped up to congratulate him on his win.

"I didn't win by shooting."

"Well, of course you won. You've done got the rifle, dontcha?"

"Hoss, another man shot as well as I did. We tied three times. Tall as me and he looked like a city slicker the way he was dressed, and he's got that full beard and all, but he shot like he knew what he was doing and had been shooting for years. We finally settled it with a coin toss and then I offered him my old rifle. He looked so happy to get it you would think it was an old friend."

Suddenly all three Cartwrights were at full attention, but Ben was the first to speak. "Candy, what did he look like otherwise? What was he like?"

"Like I said, he was about my height, dark hair, dark eyes, and kind of a smart alecky way about him. Oh, and he had a dark haired wife and a son and little girl too. Funny thing, the little boy was dressed all in black."

The Cartwrights never heard that last part. They were already headed out the door and on the way to where the shooting contest had occurred. Candy took a long slurp from one of the beers and followed. He was definitely curious and wanted to know what was going on. He caught up to them as they reached the walk where Adam sat with his family. Adam stood when he saw them approaching and Ben didn't care what anyone thought or if Adam was going to be embarrassed. He grabbed his son in a hug and didn't let go for a full minute. Slowly then, he disentangled himself and saw that Adam's eyes were glistening too.

"You came back."

"I promised I would, and you asked me to come back." Turning then to get time to regain his composure, Adam pulled Grace and Abel to his side and introduced them. Hoss came up then to grab Adam in a hug and then hugged Grace and knelt down to say howdy to Abel. Abel had a question for him.

"Does it hurt when you hug somebody?"

"Nope. Hugs feel good."

"Can I hug you then?"

"Shur can, little buddy." Hoss moved in gently and hugged Abel who grinned.

Joe was next and hugs were shared all around until everyone had hugged the new arrivals. Abel looked up at Hoss as he stood beside him and told him how tall he was and told Ben he never had a grandfather before.

"Well, Abel, you did because I've always been your grandfather. You just never had met me before today."

"Oh. Do I have any other grandfathers I haven't met?"

There was laughter then as Adam explained that he had been trying to explain various family roles to Abel but at six going on seven, Abel didn't quite understand yet because he had no experience with family other than cousins. Ben said that they should get the whole family together and head out to the Ponderosa.

"Pa, we have rooms at the International. Our nanny is there getting the rooms ready. Eleanor is ready for a nap and Grace is tired. We'll stay at the hotel tonight. We're waiting for the rest of our luggage to arrive too. Tomorrow we'll be out at the ranch for a visit." The tone by which Adam stated everything said that it was nonnegotiable.

Hoss and Joe were a bit wide-eyed at the change in the relationship between their older brother and their father. Ben had expected something like it, and although somewhat disconcerting to hear his son dictate his actions so clearly, he agreed to Adam's agenda. "Good. We'll be expecting you then. Maybe you would like to meet Jamie and Alice before we leave. They're around here some place."

With a glance to Grace, Adam agreed. The whole group moved toward the church then with Ben in the lead. Candy tagged along as he found the whole situation fascinating. He had known much of the story having talked to both Hoss and Joe about it, but seeing the family dynamic play out was quite a bit more dramatic than he had expected. When Troian saw Adam, she immediately looked to Ben and then adopted a blank look trying not to react at all while Jamie was openly curious and anxious to meet the rest of the family he had never met. Jamie and Abel looked amazingly alike although Jamie had light brown hair and Abel had black hair. Otherwise they were very similar. The two boys started talking and both were intrigued by the other's accent. Troian's greeting to Grace was formal and her greeting to Adam was as neutral as she could make it. With all of that out of the way, Adam said it was time to get Eleanor to the hotel so she could rest. He gathered his family and promised to be at the Ponderosa the next morning as soon as he could. Ben didn't take his eyes from his eldest son until he disappeared around the corner down the street.

Chapter 4

That evening, Ben noted that Troian was unusually quiet. He worried about what she was thinking and wasn't expecting at all what she told him when they were behind closed doors before bed.

"Ben, I'm ready to accept what you think we need to do that's best for Jamie and for the family."

Stunned after all the tears she had shed and complaints she had made for the previous months, Ben stared at her. "What changed your mind?"

"I think in my mind, I probably knew it might be best for Jamie to live with his father and get to know him, but in my heart, I thought it was all wrong. Then today, I saw Adam with his wife and children. I saw how he acted as a father and a husband. It was only for a very short time, but it was real. I saw how Jamie was with Abel. He deserves the chance to be in that family if that's what he wants. And Grace."

Troian couldn't continue collapsing onto the bed dropping her head into her hands as she cried. Ben sat beside her and pulled her into his arms. He knew how she felt for he had the same reaction. In his mind, he knew what they wanted for Jamie was the right thing to do, but his heart was breaking at the thought of Jamie leaving. He would miss Jamie every day and would wonder what he was doing and what he was thinking and how he was feeling. He guessed it would even be harder for Troian and knew what a sacrifice it was going to be and how much she had to love her son to be willing to do this.

"Troian, this is the most loving and most unselfish thing that you have ever done. I know how you feel. This is going to be very difficult for us, but I have never loved you as much as I love you right now."

"Ben, I love you too very much." That left Ben stunned for a moment. "I know I've never said those words to you. I thought you wouldn't believe me. Over the years, I have come to love you very much. You are a man I respect, a man of morality and compassion. I have seen you in so many different situations and you have always acted with honor and kindness. How could I not fall in love with you?"

"I longed to hear those words from you. I had come to think you might never feel that way about me. Oh, Troian."

Ben pulled her into his arms and kissed her with passion. For the first time in their marriage, they made love as two people who loved one another without reservation. Past mistakes had been banished. Their shared experiences and future together were now more important.

In town, Adam and Grace were having quite a different kind of discussion as she wondered why he had seemed so cool to the idea of going to the Ponderosa. "You greeted your father and brother so warmly, I had tears in my eyes. I nearly cried. Then when your father said we should all go to the ranch, you got that cool business voice you have and said we wouldn't. You never asked me what I thought or if we had time to go. Jamie would have loved to spend more time with Abel I'm sure by how the two were when they met, and by all the complaining, you know that Abel was disappointed by your decision."

"My father and I had disagreements in the past as to who got to decide what I would do, and I wanted him to know that there would be no disagreement. I make my own decisions."

"So that was some kind of contest and you won?"

"No, we were going to spend the night in town anyway. You and I had already agreed on that. It was letting my father know that we make the decisions for our family." Adam wisely switched to the 'we' form of decision making for the family not wanting to stir up any trouble with his wife when he knew there were already some sensitive discussions and decisions awaiting him with his family on the Ponderosa.

Grace knew that too and let the issue drop switching instead to a discussion of his family. "Your brother Hoss is very intimidating. He's so big. Joe seems quite a bit like you and your father in some ways, and that hired man of theirs, Candy, seems like a member of the family."

"Yes, Candy does, and the way Hoss and Joe have mentioned him in their letters, they think of him almost like a brother. From what I've seen, Candy's a good man. Hoss is the most kind and compassionate man I've ever known. Don't let his size fool you. He's so much more than his appearance. Too many have failed to see what he is because they never got past seeing how big he is. Jamie and Abel got on well which is a relief."

"You thought they might not?"

"Boys can sometimes be competitive instead. The two of them seemed more curious and looking for a friend instead. That will help."

"Adam, I still think we need to tell Abel soon. I know you don't want to tell him before you talk to Jamie because he has an unfortunate habit of complete honesty and may say something he shouldn't, but he will not like it that we kept this from him."

"He will have to understand that Jamie deserves to know first."

"When we talked about all of this so many years ago, I never imagined how difficult this was going to be. It seemed like it wouldn't be so hard, but now I know the people and we have children too, and it is so much more complex than I ever understood it would be. Now I better understand why you did what you did. There is no simple solution to such a complex situation."

"No, there isn't, and the next few days and weeks could be difficult for all of us."

Pausing in thought, Grace didn't want to be too pessimistic but she tended to be realistic. It was probably a result of her training and her profession. "It could be much longer than that."

Although he didn't want to do it, Adam had to agree with her assessment of the situation. She was seldom wrong in such evaluations. The next morning after a restless night, the two prepared for the trip to the ranch. Prudence was invited to travel with them and accepted. The commotion in town the day before had her too nervous about staying there alone. Adam was going to rent a carriage but found that his father had sent the Ponderosa carriage to town for them to use. He looked at Grace and raised an eyebrow. She chuckled at the situation and only had one thing to say.

"It seems your father isn't willing to give up entirely."

Rolling his eyes, Adam helped her into the carriage and then handed Eleanor up to her after taking her from Prudence. He helped Prudence into the back with Grace, and then he helped Abel up on the front seat and then joined him there. The liveryman asked Adam if he knew how to handle a team of horses which earned him a roll of the eyes too as well as a deep sigh. Even though Adam had changed into his black clothing, everything was quite obviously brand new and marked him as a newcomer. The rest of their luggage had not yet arrived so he only had his more formal clothing and his new clothing. His old pistol rig was in the luggage that had not yet arrived so he took his old rifle with him and had it under the front seat.

The ride to the Ponderosa was uneventful and for the family who were used to the long rides in Australia, it was not as impressive as it was for other newcomers. They were impressed though by the mountains and by the view of the lake they could see through the trees. Adam promised that he would take them on a more scenic ride when they had more time so they could see the lake better and get more views of panoramic vistas. That of course meant he had to start defining words for Abel which had both Grace and Prudence snickering in the back seat. Adam was enjoying himself though so he wasn't bothered by that nor by the incessant questions from his son who wanted every new tree and bird identified. Then he wanted to know how his father had gotten a rifle because he knew they had not arrived with one so Adam told him the story of the shooting contest making his son sit up even more proudly to have a father who was so skilled with a rifle. Abel asked if he could hold the rifle and with a look to Grace for permission, Adam reached down for the rifle and set it on the stock so that Abel could grasp it by the barrel and hold it upright.

"There, out here we call that riding shotgun."

"But I have a rifle not a shotgun."

"It doesn't matter what you have. It's what it's called when you sit by the driver and you're armed and ready to defend the driver and passengers."

"Oh. But I can't shoot this, can I?"

"No, you can't, but it's just that you're sitting there like you're riding shotgun."

"But if I can't shoot, then I'm not."

The snickering from the back had turned into outright laughter by then as Adam struggled to answer Abel's questions. Grace finally managed to choke out a statement.

"I bet your father would enjoy hearing this immensely. I imagine you were like this as a child too."

Then Grace noticed the serious look Adam got and imagined he was wondering about Jamie and what he was like and what the previous eight years had been like. There was no going back though so she began asking questions too to stop Adam from brooding. In a short time, they were at the Ponderosa and the whole family was there ready to welcome them. It was clear that the men in the family were stunned to see Prudence when Adam introduced their nanny. Prudence greeted Joe and Alice reasonably well despite her shyness but shied a bit from Ben with his booming voice and visibly paled and stepped back when Hoss moved forward to greet her. Adam cringed on seeing the hurt look that briefly appeared on Hoss before he shook it off.

"Aw, shucks, miss, everybody looks at me that way. Sorry ifn I scared ya. I cain't help being big and ugly. I hope you don't hold it against us all. I'll try to stay away from ya so ya don't have ta worry none."

In a shaky voice, Prudence denied that she had been scared, but quickly moved with the ladies and the children into the house. Adam put a hand on Hoss' shoulder.

"She had a tough time with men a long time ago, and she escaped into being a nanny. She's spent most of the last eight years with children. She's not comfortable being alone with me either."

"She's kinda like them little hurt critters I bring home sometimes. All she's feeling is pain and thinks she cain't get away from it."

Adam's mouth quirked up in a half smile as he recognized that instinct in Hoss to take care of someone who is hurting. Ben saw it too and mirrored Adam's look. Both had a good idea of how difficult that was going to be though.

Meanwhile Hoss zeroed in on the boys. "Hey, you two, I got a new colt in the stable. There's a couple other little ones ain't much older too, Abel. Jamie's been introduced to 'em, but you could say howdy."

"How do you say howdy to them?"

"You come with me and Joe and we'll show ya how, right Joe?" Joe got the hint and the four of them headed to the stable to give Ben and Adam some time alone.

"Well, not too subtle but it got the job done. I assume that means that my brothers know that you have something you want to say to me?"

"I hadn't meant to do so quite so quickly but I guess there's no point in delaying. Do you want to sit on the porch where we can talk? I'm sure Hop Sing will bring coffee out soon." Once they were settled, Ben's prediction proved correct. After taking a deep breath, he launched into a preface that was the same as the letter he had sent with only a few more details. Next he asked Adam about his plans, and Adam said they were thinking of living in San Francisco with some trips to Australia possible once he had his shipping company well established. He also hoped to expand his investments into a company similar to the one he and Connor had in Australia. Ben asked if there was a chance they might live closer to Nevada if they were thinking of investments in mining and railroads. Adam said that was possible and asked why that was important. That's when Ben shocked Adam.

"Troian and I have been discussing an idea I brought up and which she now accepts and agrees would be best for Jamie. We want you to have Jamie live with you wherever you choose to live at least for a time perhaps for the school term."

Stunned into silence for a time as he thought about all of what that implied, Adam had a few questions when he found his voice. "Troian accepts this?"

"She does. We've been discussing this for months, and I have to admit she was completely against it at first, but she has reconsidered. She has now looked at it based on what is best for Jamie. He needs more than what we can offer to him, and we can still see him. It's why I would like you to live closer, but I understand if that doesn't work. We do have the resources to travel as do you so we could still see him often. I do think he would enjoy the summers here with us."

"I would have to talk to Grace about this."

"I know it's a lot to consider. It's probably a good idea that I was able to lay it all out for you today and give you time to talk it through with your wife. Meanwhile we can all get to know each other and spend time together."

The rest of the day passed very pleasantly as the ladies got to know one another, and the boys enjoyed being entertained by Hoss and Joe. Grace saw Troian give Ben a look when he and Adam came in the house, and Ben nodded. She noted too that Adam appeared a bit distracted for much of the day but could only wonder why. It was that night when they were in bed, that Adam was able to tell her what his father had proposed. After discussing that for quite a long time, the two of them had another restless night and got less sleep than they had the previous night. The plan was to spend another day visiting the ranch and then when the rest of their luggage arrived, they would move to the ranch to spend time there as Adam prepared to tell Jamie the truth and then deal with the repercussions of that.

Abel was anxious to stay on the ranch, but Prudence was nervous about the move as she was feeling some strange things about Hoss and that worried her. He scared her and attracted her at the same time. She didn't know what to do about that. Often she noted him looking at her, and when she looked his way, he smiled at her. That gap toothed smile and those blue eyes told her to trust him, but it was so difficult to trust a man. Could she take a chance on him?

Chapter 5

In the morning, Grace asked Adam why his father was putting all the responsibility for telling Jamie on him. "Why can't Ben tell Jamie or at least tell him with you?"

"He could, but I've assumed a lot of this responsibility over the years as we've discussed this by letter. I wasn't alone responsible for what happened but by leaving so abruptly and then by not coming back here, I pushed others into making decisions they might not have made if I had been here to assume more responsibility for being Jamie's father. I know I didn't know about Jamie until after Pa and Troian were married but I ducked out before the wedding. Troian was made even more desperate by that."

"More desperate?"

"Remember that she came here thinking that she would tell me that she was with child and I would marry her because she thought I loved her. I made it clear to her that I didn't and that I planned to end our relationship. That was a shock to her and shook her terribly especially in the condition in which she was then. She came up then with a scheme to force me to face marriage with her but it blew up in her face when I left. I think she thought then that she had no choice. A woman alone with a child and no way to support herself and that child is a very frightening future to face. She did like my father and he loved her. She decided to make the best of it. I doubt she thought through the consequences of the choices she was making."

"I don't think you've ever made such a long speech about this nor have you ever been so forgiving of her for her treachery because that's what it was, my husband."

"I know, but now we have to look to the future. I made mistakes. She made mistakes. There is no going back for any of it. What good can come now from holding a grudge? How will that help Jamie? How will that help my father? They're the two completely innocent parties in all of this who don't deserve any hurt, but they are going to be hurt, and there is no way that I can see to avoid it. All I can see is a way to try to do the best we can do for both of them now."

"And what does that mean?"

"We may have to reconsider a full-time life in San Francisco. Perhaps we should take a look at other places we could live that would make it easier for Pa and Troian to see Jamie and for him to see them."

"What about you and your business interests?"

"Much of that is in northern California and Oregon. Perhaps there's somewhere north of here where we could live that would be more convenient."

"Would that make it easier for me to work than it would have in San Francisco?"

Smiling a little, Adam nodded. "Most likely, yes. I can maintain an apartment and offices in San Francisco and would likely have to travel fairly often but rail traffic so improved now, it wouldn't be for long."

"I'm not sure that I like the sound of that. Perhaps we could think about a second home here as we did at Bathurst. If rail traffic is as good as what we experienced so far, we could travel here fairly often and spend much of the summer here if not all of it. The boys certainly would enjoy that. That way, you would only be traveling away from the family for those few months instead of repeatedly throughout the year."

"Would you be willing to give up your work because I don't think it will be easy for you to practice in San Francisco?"

"I've been thinking about that. I've been thinking that perhaps I could start doing some teaching instead. Now they would find that more acceptable, wouldn't they?"

"We need to talk about this more after we've had time to think about all of it, but yes, I think your suggestions may work out for us. Let's get the children up and ready to go though if Prudence hasn't already done it. We promised a full day on the ranch and I'm sure everyone is looking forward to that. Now if only the rest of our luggage would arrive, we could think about settling in out there for a bit."

When Adam and Abel went to get the carriage, they were hailed by a porter from the depot who told them the rest of their luggage had arrived. With big grins, they followed him to the depot where they were reunited with Snake. The puppy had been ill when they reached San Francisco and rather than delaying their travel, they had left him in the care of a liveryman who said he knew how to take care of sick pups and would send him along when he was well enough. Adam had paid the man for his services and paid for passage for Snake when he was well again. The man had told him to expect the dog within a few days and had been correct. The dog seemed quite healthy again as he had been in Australia but he had not weathered the travel aboard ship well. Adam and Abel took him to the stable and soon were at the hotel where Grace and Eleanor happily greeted Snake too. Adam guessed the puppy would be a big hit on the Ponderosa with everyone except his father who had never liked dogs in the house and probably would find a boisterous puppy even more objectionable.

Once they were at the house, it was much like the day before except that Ben and Joe went with the boys once everyone was introduced to Snake and learned the history of that unusual name. Snake was a little shaky after all his travels so it was decided that he should stay at the ranch and rest for the day. Hoss and Adam were left behind as the ladies went in the house with Eleanor. Keeping the puppy with him, Adam wondered at the change but Hoss told him he would explain once they were in the stable. In the house, equally serious conversations were held too as Troian couldn't wait and asked Grace if Adam had talked to her about what Ben had asked him to do.

"Yes, he did."

"Will you and Adam do it?"

By Alice's silence, Grace guessed she already knew too what had been discussed. "We will if that's what Jamie wants. He's old enough to have some say in what happens. We've been talking too about how to make sure that you and Ben stay in more contact with him. We're considering the possibility of a house here as well as in San Francisco and spending as much time here as possible." Troian said little to that so Grace had to ask what she was thinking.

"How do you feel about this? I don't know how you can do it."

"A few months ago, I wasn't going to do it. I slowly came to realize that was because I was putting myself first. I tried to think of what would be best for Jamie and of course at first, I assumed it would be best for him to stay in the home he's had since birth. But again, I was thinking mostly from what I wanted. I didn't consider what Jamie wanted. Yes, the best for him would probably for all of us to live here, but that isn't going to happen. He does need more education than he can get here. Sooner or later, he was going away to school anyway. It was probably going to be in only a few years as smart as he is. He was likely to end up in a boarding school so this is a much better situation."

"I still don't know that I could do it."

"I think you could. I've only known you in your letters but now I've seen you with your son. You want the best for him. You would do what you had to do no matter the cost to you if it was what he wanted."

"Yes, and we may be getting way ahead of ourselves here. Jamie may not want to be with us. He may wish to stay here even when he knows the truth."

Ben and Joe had had a similar conversation which was relayed to Adam by Hoss who said Joe had questioned why Jamie had to leave and Ben had referred not only to what was best for Jamie but also the need for better schooling and that once Jamie knew, he would have some say in the final resolution of how the family would be organized after the truth was revealed. "It's gonna be real hard on Jamie but on Pa and Troian too. Joe knows that and he's worried about them all. He's got a lot on his mind these days, and I guess that he hoped there'd be less to worry about here not more."

"Why does he have so much to worry about?"

"Well, he's trying to get his house finished up before his baby arrives, and Alice's brother is a big worry. He's a gambler and runs up big gambling debts. Alice used ta bail him out by working hard, but now she ain't working and he's still gambling. You can imagine the debts he's gotten since their wedding. Now hand over that puppy. I think I know how to make him feel more comfortable."

Chapter 6

"Maybe I could help Joe with his house." Adam watched as Hoss rubbed Snake's back and belly getting the puppy to relax and close its eyes. Then he laid the small animal on an old horse blanket and let it sleep.

"Seems to me that this little feller needed to rest. Now, as to Joe, yeah, that could go a long way to getting the two of you back on the same trail drive. Sometimes working together gives folks a chance to talk like they don't get otherwise too. Joe is a mite tetchy though with all this worrying 'bout Alice's brother so keep that in mind."

"Seems to me Joe is always a bit like that so nothing has changed."

"You're wrong there, Adam. Dontcha go thinking that he's the kid like he was when you left. He's a man, and he needs to be treated that way."

"Sorry, Hoss, I only meant that he tends to be touchy about some things, sensitive. I didn't mean to imply anything else."

"Sorry, then, too. I guess I might be a bit tetchy myself with all what's going on. I'm worried 'bout Jamie. Joe was the one who said all along that the truth should be told. He thought Pa shoulda told the truth long ago too. He didn't like how you figured to fix things by leaving and sure didn't like keeping the truth from Jamie, but he wasn't gonna push too hard for what he thought 'cause he wasn't so sure he was right either. Hard to know what to do in a situation like this."

"It sure is." Snake stirred a little with the two men talking so Adam dropped to an old stool next to the dog and began softly rubbing it the way he had seen Hoss do it. The puppy quieted under his gentle hand as Hoss looked on approvingly. "I want to make things right or as right as they can be, but no matter how it goes, I can see that there's still going to be hurt. Being irresponsible all those years ago still reverberates. Choices have consequences except others are paying prices for what Troian and I did."

"Jamie was a good result. He's smart as a whip, and he's darn nice. No matter what you or anybody thought about Troian, she's been a good mother to the boy."

"And to Pa?"

"Well, we all know she wouldna been our first choice by a coon's tail, but they seem all right. I guess it is better than Pa being alone and this last couple of years, they seem happy enough. I don't rightly know what this whole thing is gonna do, but until now, I figured them to stay together."

"Pa, says you're very close to Jamie. How do you think he's going to take the news?"

Dropping down to sit next to Adam, Hoss leaned against the side of the horse stall as he thought about that. "It's another thing I don't rightly know. But there is one thing I do know. Ya oughta think on tellin' him real soon 'cause he's a real smart one, and he knows that something is going on and that it's got something to do with him. You need to tell him soon."

Hoss couldn't have been more correct in his assessment of that. Ben and Joe had been showing the boys the horses in the breaking corral and explaining to Abel what they did there. Jamie told them that he was going to the stable to check on Snake to see how Hoss was doing with the dog and perhaps he might bring the dog back with him. Actually, Jamie was curious about Adam. Having overheard so many snippets of whispered conversations between members of his family in which Adam's name figured prominently as did his, his curiosity was piqued. He wondered what kind of plans could be in the works and hoped that perhaps it meant that he was going to be able to take a trip with Adam and his family. He enjoyed them already and thought that might be a fun thing to do. When he got to the stable and could hear Hoss and Adam talking, he once again heard his name mentioned. As usual, he was too far away from the quiet tones of the talking to hear all that was being said but his name he could discern. He decided to take the bull by the horns, more or less, and walked rather boldly into the stable.

"Tell me what? Everybody is always whispering a lot lately. I hear my name too. When I ask, they say it's nothing. Well, I know it's something. I want to know. Adam, what does Hoss want you to tell me?"

Looking over at Adam, Hoss smirked a little but looked sympathetic too. "I told you. Smart as a whip, but a lot like you too. Bold and brave as they come and ready to grab a bull by the horns when need be. I'll be outside if either of ya need me." Hoss stood then and walked from the stable pausing and placing a large gentle hand on Jamie's shoulder as he passed him.

"Do you want to sit too?" Adam needed a little time as he prepared to tell Jamie the truth. He had been rehearsing this for months yet found this moment was not at all what he had expected. Jamie nodded and pulled crate over next to Adam so that he could face him as he spoke.

"Is this going to be a real serious kind of talk. I thought it might be kind of a fun kind of talk. I thought maybe you were gonna invite me to take a trip with your family. But the way Hoss acted has me scared now."

"This is a serious talk. Things aren't exactly what they seem. Pa says that you've been asking some questions that he was uncomfortable answering." Jamie got a quizzical look. "You asked why you looked more like me than you looked like him. There's a good reason for that. Many years ago, before he met your mother, I knew her. I met her first. We spent a lot of time together. Then I decided that I didn't want to be with her any more. I was back here, and Pa was there when she needed help. He helped her and began to fall in love with her. A bit later she came here thinking I would marry her."

"Why would she want you to marry her if you didn't love her and Papa did?"

"That's where it gets very complicated. I told her I didn't love her, but she didn't tell me she was with child. If she had, I would have married her. It would have been the responsible thing to do. Before she could tell me, I left because Pa asked her to marry him. Because I left, she accepted that marriage, and my Pa ended up raising my son."

Jamie was very bright but still very young. It took him a bit to process all of that information. He looked at Adam and realization dawned. "You're my real father!" However as he thought about all of it, his anger and resentment grew too. "Why didn't Papa tell you to come back here and marry her if you were my father?"

"He didn't know I was the father. He knew she was with child but not that I was the father of that child."

"But when Papa knew, why didn't he tell me?"

"I guess because I was in Australia by then."

Again Jamie thought. His head dropped as his opinion of his mother dropped. Then he stood and in as cold a voice as a boy could affect, stated his version of events. "You ran away. My mother is a liar. Papa can't be trusted. There's nobody who cares what I think."

Turning then, Jamie nearly ran full speed from the stable toward the house. Adam made sure he didn't flee in any other direction as he walked to the stable entrance. Hoss moved over to stand beside him.

"I'll go in to see him in a bit. Maybe get him to talk 'bout this. You did the best you could. You laid it all out without blaming anybody and kept it simple enough. It's that it's hard for a boy to take all that at once." Looking at Adam who was as pale as he ever got except if he was wounded or deathly ill, Hoss was worried. "You gonna be all right?"

"I will be, but I have another boy I need to tell this story to now. I have to shatter my image with another son. Can you keep an eye on Snake? Abel would never forgive me if I let anything bad happen to that pup." With that, Adam walked away toward the breaking corrals to find Abel. Now that Jamie knew, it was time to tell Abel.

A short time later, Grace came out to the stable with Eleanor on her arm. Hoss asked about Jamie. "He stormed in the house and ran up the stairs. He had tears but it was more from anger than sadness it seemed. We heard his door slam. Troian went up to talk with him but he refused to talk with her. Wouldn't even open the door to her. Where's Adam?"

"He went to talk with Abel."

With that, Grace asked if Hoss could hold the sleeping Eleanor so that she could go find Adam and Abel assuming that she could be of some help to Adam. Hoss accepted the little girl who opened her eyes only briefly before snuggling into Hoss' embrace and falling back into peaceful slumber as Grace left. Later, Prudence came out to the stable wondering where Grace had gone. She found Hoss sitting on the stool with a sleeping Eleanor cradled in one arm as his other arm extended down to Snake on the blanket and slowly rubbed the pup's side encouraging him to sleep too. Hoss had his head down watching both and didn't see Prudence approach at first. She paused in the stable entrance seeing Hoss like that and decided that he was different than most men she had known. It was then that she decided it was time to re-enter the world of adults. Quietly, she addressed Hoss.

"Hi there. Can I help you with one or the other?"

Chapter 7

Emotionally exhausted by talking to Jamie, Adam walked to the breaking corral knowing he had to talk to Abel before he heard the story from someone else. Ben saw him and asked the question he had with a look which Adam answered with a nod.

"He ran to the house. I imagine he could use someone to talk to by now."

As Ben headed to the house, he met Grace who was headed to the breaking corral to help Adam. She confirmed what Adam had said and added a bit more detail about Jamie's mood by the time he was in the house and how he had reacted to Troian. By the time Grace reached the breaking corrals, Joe wanted to know what was going on. She gave him a quick rundown and then went to where he said Adam had gone with Abel to have a talk. When she reached the spot where the two were talking, she was surprised at the light-hearted nature of Abel's responses to Adam's questions. She approached with curiosity and was rewarded with a quick explanation from Adam.

"He says he's happy to find out he has an older brother who might decide to live with us at least part of the time. It seems Hoss has been regaling him with stories of the benefits of being the middle brother. I don't know how he has managed it in such a short time, but he's got Abel thinking it wouldn't be bad at all to have an older brother to lead the way."

Grace looked over at Abel who nodded vigorously and grinned. Returning her gaze to Adam, she had to share her thoughts. "Your brother Hoss is even more of a delightful bloke than you described him. He may be the wisest man here although Hop Sing is close competition." She smiled softly then and Adam asked why. "As I left Hoss a short time ago, he was sitting in the stable petting Snake. I left Eleanor in his care. I can't imagine another man that I knew for such a short time that I would hand over my daughter to and trust that no harm would come to her. He is absolutely amazing."

"He is. I wish he had some magic he could work with Jamie."

Abel was worried then. "Doesn't Jamie want to be my brother?"

Adam wanted to kick himself then for having said that. "No, it's not that. It's that he's been living with Grandpa and with his mother for eight years here on the Ponderosa. It would be a very big change for him to have to leave. He may not want to leave."

"I left my homes in Australia." He had that smug look then that only a seven year old can have when they think they've bested an adult in a conversation.

"But we left with you."

"Oh, yeah." Thinking very hard for a short time, Abel had a suggestion.

"Well, then Grandpa and Grandma have to come with us or we have to

stay here." He looked rather proud of himself for his logical solution.

Shrugging, Adam looked at Grace. "Out of the mouths of babes. He has a point. I'm beginning to think your ideas are probably the best way to think about approaching this. We probably need to think about proposing it this way to Jamie and telling Pa and Troian that's the way we plan to approach it."

"What ideas?"

So Adam and Grace discussed the idea with Abel to see what he thought about living in two houses again. He liked it. Of course he would because it brought him back to a system to which he was accustomed and allowed him the greatest number of options to keep life exciting and stimulating. Adam and Grace leaned toward the idea partially for the same reasons. However they knew that for Jamie, it would mean a major upheaval, that it would take time for him to appreciate the benefits of living that way. They hoped to have a chance to present it to him as an option and wondered how well Ben and Troian were doing in getting him to talk.

First of all, Ben had to get him to open his door, but that booming voice issuing such an order was still effective. Jamie opened the door. When Ben entered, he could see how emotionally distraught Jamie was and his whole demeanor softened. Jamie looked at him.

"Papa, tell me that Adam was lying."

Noting that Jamie simply referred to him as Adam but in a neutral tone of voice told Ben that Jamie knew it was true. He sat on the bed next to Jamie. "He told you the truth. We should have told you the truth a long time ago, but I thought you should hear it from your father. That was my decision. Don't blame anyone else for that. I'm here now to discuss it with you if you are wiling to talk with me."

"I don't want him to be my father. I don't want any of it to be true."

"I can understand that. It's so complicated. It's been that way for a long time. However, we have a chance now to work things out as well as they can be worked out. We can all talk about it and try to find the best way to work this."

"Are you going to give me away to Adam?"

"No, Jamie, no one is giving you away. I do think you should think about the possibility of living with your father and his family at least for a time so you can get to know your father, but no one will force you to do that if you don't want to do that. I think you should listen to your father about the advantages living with him could bring, and know that we will always see you too and that you have the choice to continue living with your mother and me. Adam is not going to live in Australia. He will live somewhere here. Now the details aren't worked out yet. Let's wait and see what they are before you decide you won't consider spending time with your father, getting to know him, and letting him be your father as he should be."

"I don't think I'm going to like things no matter what happens."

"Maybe you won't but don't make up your mind until you hear everything and have time to think about it. Nothing will happen for months yet. Adam doesn't have a house yet for his family anywhere yet and hasn't even made a decision as to where it will be. We'll have time to talk. Remember that we all love you and we want the best for you. All right?"

Grudgingly, Jamie agreed although with all that had happened, he had some doubts to face. A bit stubborn in his thinking, Jamie reminded Ben again of the boy's father. Ben told him then to go see his mother. Jamie did, but found it difficult to talk to her. He stiffened when she moved to hug him so when he left to go back to his room, she broke down in tears. Ben comforted her and told her to give Jamie time to adjust to everything he had learned.

"He needs time. He got quite a shock today with everything that he was told."

As dinner neared and everyone was in the house, Ben told Jamie to come downstairs. He pointedly ignored everyone except Joe and Alice, Hoss, and Prudence as well as Hop Sing. The others were snubbed including Abel who didn't understand the situation, but his parents asked him to accept it that evening and not complain. It was a relief to Adam and Grace when they were able to leave for the day. Ben asked if they would be at the house the next day to stay. Adam said they would as agreed. Ben bid them good night and then watched as they drove away toward town. Joe and Alice had left earlier. Joe had been concerned that Adam had told Jamie so much at once. Adam had given the logical answer of course.

"It isn't something that can be told in increments. If I had tried, he would have asked questions anyway." Adam had that same beaten look though when Joe conceded the point. It didn't make anything go down any easier to know it was the way it had to be.

Inside after the others were gone, Hoss tried to engage a somewhat sullen Jamie in conversation, but that didn't work.

"Jamie, would you like to go to your room to read before bed? I thought perhaps you would like some quiet time."

It was clear that Jamie wanted exactly that by how quickly he agreed to Ben's suggestion. Once he was gone, Ben openly berated himself for not preparing him better for the news he had received.

"Pa, you can't blame yourself. This whole thing is so different from what anybody's ever lived that we're all kinda just trying to work our way through it best we can. Ain't nothing bad happened so far. We're all doing all right. Let's just see how it all works out."

Chapter 8

In the morning, Joe was over early to pick up supplies. He told Ben and Troian that Alice's brother had spent the night. "He's probably hiding out from whomever he owes money to now. I swear, Pa, I don't know what to do about him. He's my brother-in-law, but he's no good. He only comes to see Alice when he wants something. She's only a month away from having the baby. I don't like her getting upset like this. Yesterday she was all excited about getting the baby's room ready, and now this morning, she's worried about him again."

"Maybe Troian can go over there this morning. She's still upset too so having something to do like get the baby's room ready might be helpful."

"Jamie still snubbing her?"

"Not so much that as he isn't acting normally around her. It's bothering her quite a lot. She was already on edge because of everything and this is making it worse."

"It's going to take me a while to get things ready. I have to use the forge to make some hinges before I go back."

"I'll ask if she wants to go. If she does, I'll have the small carriage hitched up for her. She can go for a few hours. She and Alice can work on the baby's room and both can get their minds off other issues."

"Sounds good, Pa."

It worked that way too. Troian was happy to have the option to spend the morning with Alice and was headed there within the hour. An hour later, Adam arrived with his family and their luggage so they could move into the guest rooms. Ben asked Jamie to help carry luggage, but when he finished that task, he went to his room and closed the door. The adults decided that he needed the time to think and told Abel to go to the kitchen to work with Hop Sing who was willing to help out as much as he could. Abel asked if he could do something first.

"What do you need to do, son?"

"Well, somebody has to take care of Snake, and somebody has to take care of Jamie, and I was thinking maybe they could take care of each other. Snake always makes me feel better when I want somebody close. He can make anybody feel better."

Adam and Grace were never more proud of their son than they were at that moment. They agreed and all watched as Abel got Snake and hurried up the stairs with him. They heard mumbled voices and then nothing before Abel came back down the stairs looking confused. Adam asked him what was wrong.

"I thought it would make him happy, but he started crying and then he got mad and told me not to look at him. Then he shut the door."

"What about Snake?"

"Oh, he hugged him right away."

"Then your plan worked, son."

"It did?"

"Yes, Jamie is confused right now, and he didn't want you to see him cry, but sending Snake to be with him was a wonderful idea."

When all the other adults told Abel the same thing, he accepted the praise and gratitude even if he didn't quite understand what had happened and went to the kitchen hoping that the wise man in there could help him understand it better. Prudence and Grace said that perhaps they could go help the other two ladies, and Adam said he would give them a ride over and could help Joe with the house while he was there if Joe wanted any help. Joe liked that idea and said he'd be happy to give Adam some work as soon as he got back there with the supplies. He warned everyone about Alice's brother being there before he went back to his work on the hinges. Hoss of course offered to help too making both Adam and Ben share small smiles. It was clear the two were attracted to one another, and both wondered what people would think when they saw the beautiful Prudence with Hoss. They liked it, but knew it would surprise many. They could get on their way quickly because the carriage was already set to go outside. With a quick watering of the team, they were ready to go. Ben said he would watch over Abel if Hop Sing got too busy. The ladies were given some special food by Hop Sing who was concerned about Alice, and then Adam drove the team from the yard and asked Hoss for directions. Hoss smiled and reached for the reins.

"Be easier ifn I drive there. You kin drive back."

The two ladies sitting in the back with Eleanor chuckled at the two brothers. As they drove, Hoss began to regale the two ladies with stories about Adam when he was younger. However, the story was cut short when Adam grabbed Hoss' arm to stop the wagon,

"Do you hear that?"

"Damn. Sounds like guns and that's in the direction of Joe's house. Grab your pistol. I'll get us close and then we'll move in."

Any plan to do anything like that was moot as three riders emerged from the trees up ahead riding hard in their general direction.

"You know them?"

"Nope. Shouldn't be here."

That conclusion was reinforced when the fleeing men fired at them. Adam yelled at Grace and Prudence to get down even as he drew his pistol and Hoss pulled the rifle from under the carriage seat. Furious firing went on for no more than thirty seconds. Adam and Hoss may have been better shots or it could be that they were on a stationary stable platform from which to shoot while the three men were firing from horseback and clearly inexperienced at doing that. When the firing stopped, one of the three was dead, one was wounded, and one had escaped. Adam jumped from the carriage to take the wounded man into custody telling Hoss to go to Joe's house.

"I'll tie him and round up one or both of these horses. Go!"

It was ominously quiet as Hoss drove toward Joe's house. When they arrived there, they found Alice's brother dead, Troian shot, and Alice trying her best to stop the bleeding. With bloodies hands and tears streaming down her face, she was nearly hysterical but was coherent enough to tell them what had happened even if it was brief.

"They told him to give them their money. He said he didn't have it, and they said they were going to shoot me if he didn't hand it over. When they pointed their guns at me, Troian pushed me behind her, and they shot her to get to me. He tried to help and they shot him too. I think he's dead."

Grace had checked the man quickly before moving to kneel beside Troian and Alice. She wanted to keep Alice talking because in her state, she could easily get too agitated and that could lead to more problems. "I'm sorry. He is. We saw them riding out of here. Why did they leave?"

"When she pushed me, she pushed me toward the chair where she saw Joe's pistol rig. He was working with a leather apron on this morning and didn't wear it. I took his pistol and started shooting at them. That's when they rode off." Alice stood then as Grace probed around Troian's wound. As she did so, Alice grabbed her abdomen. "No!"

Looking at Alice, Grace knew what was happening. It was what she had expected but had hoped wouldn't happen. "Hoss, get Alice inside to her bedroom. Then get Prudence and the baby back to the ranch. Tell Adam or someone to get my medical bag."

Hoss didn't have to leave. By the time he had Alice inside, Adam was there and soon Joe and Ben arrived having heard the gunshots. Other Ponderosa hands were there soon too. One was sent to retrieve Grace's medical bag and another drove Prudence and Eleanor back to the main house. Ben, Adam, and Hoss carefully carried Troian inside where they placed her on the kitchen table that had been covered with a thick blanket at Grace's request. She got a small pillow to put under Troian's head and then got two blankets to cover her patient. She bandaged the wound.

"Aren't you going to remove the bullet?" Ben was incredulous.

"Not right now. She's too much shocked by what happened. I want to warm her and get her heart rate down and get her to relax before I do anything more to her. The wound is not bleeding much so we have time to wait."

Before his father could begin arguing, Adam steered him outside as Grace went to check on Alice who was under the watchful eye of Joe. Hoss stayed by Troian's side to alert Grace of any change in her condition.

Chapter 9

Nearly overcome with worry and resentful of Adam's imperious treatment of him, Ben was furious with his eldest son, but Adam didn't give him a chance to vent.

"Trust her, Pa. I do. You should. She only wants the best for her patients, and she's good at what she does." Adam had that fighter's stance of his when he was sure of himself and wanted to make sure he made his point.

"But." Ben had a similar stance, but worry meant that he wasn't standing in as much of a confident position. Adam could see it too.

"But she's a woman? Pa, she's been a doctor in mining camps for eight years. She's treated just about everything you can imagine. Men there weren't going to object that she was a woman when there was no other doctor within hundreds of miles. She can do this. Trust her. Have the courage to trust her."

"But that bullet should come out." Ben made the conventional argument.

"If Grace says it can wait, then it can wait."

"You're going to back her over me?"

Ben's words would have been funny in many other circumstances but these were too serious for any humor to intervene. Adam guessed that he and Grace might find time to laugh about it at some point though once the crisis was over.

"She's the one with the medical education and the medical experience."

"Well, I can't exactly force her to operate. I guess I have to accept what you say."

With grudging acceptance, Ben walked back inside to take Hoss' place watching over Troian. Adam was there too and Hoss gave him that raised eyebrow look to which he could only shrug. Hoss understood. Their father wasn't happy about how things were going but wouldn't fight it at the moment. When Grace returned, Adam asked her to explain in more detail why she wanted to wait.

"Often when working with miners who were injured, their injuries caused such severe reactions that their heart rates were highly elevated causing them to bleed even more. If I could get the heart rate to slow, then the bleeding slowed too. As I did that more and waited on treatment, I realized the long term results were better too so I began keeping records to compare doing immediate surgery or intervention compared to waiting. Now granted, sometimes I couldn't wait, but overall, patients did better when I was able to get the heart rate down and get the patient comfortable before doing any necessary work. Now my medical bag will be here soon. I'll be able to give her something for the pain, and after it takes effect, I'll remove the bullet."

Somewhat mollified by an explanation that made so much sense, Ben nodded conceding. However then he worried aloud about Jamie and how the news would affect him. He didn't want to leave his wife's side but thought someone had to go to Jamie. Hoss looked to Adam who nodded. He would go talk to his son to tell him what had happened and reassure him as much as possible.

Grace continued to go between Troian and Alice finally reporting that it seemed that Alice's labor pains had subsided. She had warned Joe to keep her calm and resting though to hope they did not resume. Doctor Paul Martin arrived about an hour later and was surprised too that Grace had not removed the bullet from Troian. Ben told him what he had been told, and Paul too was a bit skeptical but was more curious. Soon after he arrived, Grace determined that Troian was probably about as stable as she was going to get. She administered more pain medication and ordered Ben from the room. Hoss got him to go outside as Paul assisted Grace with the surgery. Only a half hour later, Paul walked outside to tell Ben that the surgery was successful and that Grace was bandaging the wound.

"Your daughter-in-law is a skilled surgeon. You're very lucky to have her here. Your wife is in good hands. I'm going back inside to check in on Alice. Grace is worried about her because it's not only the shock of what's happened but she lost her brother too. That could be enough to trigger the baby to come. I've been her doctor for months now. Grace will stay with Troian. You can go in soon, but wait until Grace calls you."

Paul found Joe doing his best to console Alice. He was able to help somewhat by telling her about Troian. "She's going to be fine. Grace got that bullet out without much trouble. Ben is probably by her side by now, and we know he'll take good care of her until she's tired of being fussed over. Hoss is going back to be with Prudence to help take care of the children and reassure them. Adam went to talk with Jamie earlier and now we can send word with Hoss that she is going to be fine. Now, my concern is you. How are you doing?"

His answer was Alice bursting into tears. Joe looked at him with that helpless look.

"She seems fine for a while, and then this happens."

"It's not unusual for women in her state to be very emotional, and with what's happened, it's not a surprise to me. However, we do need to find a way to calm her or that baby may decide to come after all."

Paul got some cool water and a cloth and had Joe wipe Alice's face and told him to speak reassuringly to her to calm her. Spreading another blanket over the bed, Paul thought it might be best to warm her a bit more too after he held her hand and thought she seemed too cool. He reached under the blanket then to check her abdomen to see the position of the baby. What he found let him know that it was probably too late to stop the inevitable. Joe had been watching Paul and their eyes met when Paul looked toward Joe after checking Alice's abdomen. Joe was able to read Paul's expression, and Paul read the worried look that Joe had as well. The baby was going to come early, and there wasn't likely anything they could do about that.

Outside there was some commotion as Candy arrived with Sheriff Roy Coffee. They had the wounded man in custody having taken him from the small tree to which Adam had tied him. They also had the dead man's body draped over a horse too. Roy needed to speak to everyone about what had happened but Grace wouldn't let him speak to either Troian or Alice so he had to take everything down from second hand accounts. He wasn't happy about that, but it was a rather straightforward situation. Adam returned as well. Roy told them what he knew.

"Now, I gotta tell ya that I think I know who the one who done got away was. His name is Turner, and he's a nasty one. He's been gambling in town for a few weeks now. Runs an honest table by all accounts but knows how to get men to play until they finally lose it all."

"He folds on hands he could win early letting them win, and then later he takes them to the limit and cleans them out?"

"Adam, that's exactly it. He gets them thinking they got a winning night going so they stay in and then he takes all they got and sometimes takes property they own and makes loans to 'em that they can't pay. I'm guessing that's what happened here and he come to collect. It would explain a couple of men who got beat pretty bad lately. They ain't killed no one until now."

"Where do you think he went?"

"Don't know enough about him to even guess, but I asked Candy to help me go after him. Adam, I was hoping you might help too. With three, we shouldn't have no trouble taking him if we can catch up to him."

That made sense to Adam who went to tell Grace what Roy wanted. She wasn't happy about it, but it made sense and there wasn't anyone else there who could go with Candy and Roy. She told him to be careful and he promised he would. She asked how his conversation had gone with Jamie.

"It was mixed At first, he didn't want to talk to me at all until I said I had news about his mother, but then it was bad news. He looked at me at first like I was responsible. I did tell him that you were going to take care of her and Abel jumped in to say you were the best doctor in the world. Jamie asked then for me to tell you please to take the best care of his mother. I think he didn't know what else to say. He's overwhelmed with so much coming down on him in such a short time."

"Hoss is there with Prudence, and with Hop Sing, they can help him." Adam agreed, kissed his wife, and went to find Roy and Candy.

The three men rode out then. Roy had told Candy that Adam was the best tracker he had known except for Hoss. Candy was waiting to see if that was trued and wasn't disappointed as Adam picked up the man's trail rather quickly and led them after him. They knew the man had a good head start, but if they could get an idea where he was going, they could go to town too to wire ahead to look for him because they knew who it probably was. After tracking for several hours, Adam got down from his horse and carefully examined the tracks. Walking for quite a ways forward and then mounting up and riding back quite a ways to dismount and check again. Candy and Roy were mystified and asked what he was doing.

"These look like old tracks. He crossed an old trail a short way back. He's doubled back. We have to follow this back and find where he did it or we have to guess where he likely went."

"How do you know they're old tracks? They look like the tracks we been following all along." Roy couldn't imagine what Adam was talking about.

"If you look closely, you can see that the sides of the tracks are collapsing. They're drying out and the wind and gravity are pulling them down. If they were new, the sides of the tracks would still be sharp and clean. He turned back somewhere along here."

Candy was getting worried. "There's only one reason I can see for him to double back and that would be to get rid of the witnesses who know he committed murder or he wants revenge or who knows what he wants. Men like that don't always act in ways we can understand."

Adam mounted up. "I think it doesn't matter why. We need to get back and protect my family. Let's ride."

The three took off on a fast ride toward Joe's house not worrying about who could get there first or who might fall behind.

Chapter 10

At the main house, Hoss found Prudence had her hands full trying to console Jamie because Adam had to tell him his mother was hurt. He knew that Ben and Joe had rushed to Joe's house because of gunfire so he knew something bad had happened. Abel was worried too because his parents had gone in that direction, but at least Prudence had been able to reassure him that both of his parents were fine. When Hoss came back to tell them that Troian was holding her own and that Grace seemed confident that she could get the bullet out, Jamie was somewhat relieved but it wasn't until Adam sent a hand with the news that the surgery was successful that Jamie could finally relax and accept that his mother would live.

"She saved my mother's life. I didn't know if I was going to like her enough but she saved my mother's life."

"Yeah, Jamie, she's quite a woman. Your pa sure knows how to pick 'em."

"I want to go see Mama too. I want to tell her I'm sorry for how I've been acting. I don't want her to be sad any more about that."

"I don't know if she'll even be awake. Grace gave her medicine for the pain, and that stuff usually makes you go to sleep and stay sleeping for quite a spell."

"I want to see her anyway. I want to thank Grace too for saving her. Can I, please?"

At that point, Hop Sing came out from the kitchen. "I make food. Nobody cook at Mister Joe's house. They need food. You take. Boys help."

"Thank you, Hop Sing. You always know the best thing to do." Hoss' eyes met Hop Sing's and conveyed that the thanks were for more than the food. Hoss knew that the task would keep the boys busy and keep their minds off their worries. It also meant that their parents wouldn't be as upset about them arriving at Joe's house as they might have been if Hoss just plopped them down in the midst of everyone for no particular purpose. Hoss turned to Prudence. "I think I could use your help too ifn ya don't mind helping out."

"I don't mind. In fact, I would have felt insulted if you had not requested my assistance. Thank you."

"It'll take me a bit to harness up a team again. I wasn't expecting to use the carriage again today. As long as we're going, let's take some extra clothes for Pa and Troian. I reckon they ain't gonna be able to travel today for sure. Can you pick out what's needed?" Hoss gave an endearing and imploring look to Prudence because he truly had no idea other than a dress as to what Troian might want to have at Joe's house. He looked so relieved when Prudence said yes, she would do that, she wanted to laugh, but under the circumstances, that seemed inappropriate. She smiled softly and headed upstairs but then turned to ask which room she was going to have to look in to find what was needed. Hoss told Jamie to go help her. Within the hour, they were ready to go and arrived at Joe's house quickly. Not wanting to disturb anyone, Hoss told the boys to wait outside while he went in to see if Troian had been moved to a bed yet and found that she was on a cot in the parlor. The kitchen looked like a kitchen again. Hoss went to his father who was at Troian's side and told him what they had and who was with him.

"She's asleep, but I'll go out with you and talk with Jamie before I bring him in to see his mother. You can have Abel help you in the kitchen for now. Both Grace and Paul are in with Joe and Alice. They think the baby is going to come anyway."

"But it's too soon."

"It's three or four weeks early, but Grace said that babies born that early still have a very good chance at survival if precautions are taken. Apparently she has some experience with that. I hope she's right."

"Me too, Pa. Me too. Alice done lost a lot already, but losing a baby would be the worst."

With that, Ben and Hoss did as they said they would. When Jamie got to sit at his mother's side, he said he was sorry for treating her badly, and that if she would wake up and be better, he would make it up to her and never treat her badly again. Ben doubted that was true because there were always going to be disagreements between parents and children, but this was not the moment to discuss such things. Ben wrapped an arm around Jamie and told him he loved him and that his mother loved him too.

"Even after the way I was?"

"Of course. We will love you no matter what happens. We will always love you."

That reassurance meant more to Jamie than Ben realized at that moment because Adam had told Jamie the same thing earlier, and Hoss had been advising him that was true all along. It was going to help him to adjust to all that had happened to shake up his world.

Eventually Abel saw his mother when she came into the kitchen lured by the smell of fresh coffee and the food Hop Sing had made. With relief, Abel gave her a big hug and said he was glad she wasn't hurt before he asked where his father was.

"He and Candy went with the sheriff to track down the man who helped do all of this but got away. He thought that with the three of them, they should be able to take the man without anyone getting hurt."

With some pride that the sheriff wanted his father's help but a little worried, Abel looked to Hoss for reassurance that all would be well with his father serving on a posse. Hoss gave it to him telling him that the main reason they wanted Adam was for his tracking ability and that with three of them to the one they were after, it should be easy to apprehend him. Troian couldn't be moved yet so Ben was spending the night as was Grace who planned to watch over both patients and help with Alice whom she expected to deliver the baby that night. They asked Hoss to take the children back home and watch over them there with the help of Prudence. After they left, Grace returned to Alice's room to check in with Paul to see how Alice was doing. Ben sat down beside Troian and was startled to hear his name. It was very soft and her eyes were closed yet, but it was unmistakably his name. She said it again.

"Troian, don't try to talk. I'm here. I'll be here as long as you need me here. Now, rest."

"Thirsty."

"Wait a moment while I check with Grace to see what she wants to give you to drink." By the time Ben was back with Grace, Troian was asleep again.

"Next time, if I'm not here, give her a sip of water and then perhaps some sugar water. I'll get some sugar and have it here next to you. You can mix a little into the water in the glass and spoon it for her. If I'm here when she wakes, we'll get her some broth. It's in a pot on the stove and it's all warmed and ready."

Before she could return to Alice, Ben asked about his other daughter-in-law. "Despite our best efforts, her labor has started. The baby is coming tonight." There was nothing more to be said. They both knew that it would be better if the baby came a few weeks later but that wasn't going to happen. Ben began to pray again as it was all that was left for him to do. He wished he was younger and able to do something more.

Meanwhile, Roy was wishing he was younger too. He was feeling every one of his sixty years and thinking it was getting to be time to consider retiring for good. He had watched Adam and Candy disappear ahead of him long ago but continued to ride as hard as he could.

At Joe's house, Adam and Candy arrived near there about the same time and pulled up together. The sun was getting low in the sky but left enough daylight to still see well. All looked calm and as they had been riding up, they had seen the carriage in the distance heading toward the main house at a leisurely pace.

"Adam, why don't you go inside and let them know what we think that Turner may be thinking of doing. I'll take a ride around the house and see if I can see anything. If he's there, he's going to back off or confront me. Either way, we'll buy some time."

"We could both ride around."

"We could, but I was thinking that with the sun dropping down, they might start lighting lamps inside and that could make it too easy to sight in on a target inside. They need to be warned."

"Good point. We'll do it your way."

Candy's estimation of the man in black went up quite a lot at that point with his easy concession to Candy's idea. He was a reasonable man even if Candy had heard him described as stubborn. They split up to complete their tasks.

In the house, Ben was surprised to have Adam back so soon, but he was worried when he heard what the theory was on Turner. "You should probably cover all the windows then. Some don't have curtains yet so we'll have to find blankets or other things to cover them. I can help you."

"Let me go tell the others first, and Joe can tell me where to find things to cover the windows. You sit tight for now."

Adam headed down the short hallway to the main bedroom then and knocked softly on the door. Grace opened it and was surprised but glad to see him. Very quickly, Adam explained what had happened or what they thought had happened and what Turner might be planning to do. Joe stood to show Adam what blankets and such to take from the linen armoire next to the window. As he moved there, Adam saw a glint of sunlight on metal outside the window and moved to shove Joe out of the way even as the window shattered and he felt his side erupt in agony from pieces of flying glass that embedded in him. Alice screamed. Noise was heard outside and then it was relatively quiet for a time until Candy's voice was heard.

"Don't shoot. We got him. Sorry we were a bit late. He got a shot off but it went pretty high when I hit him. Hope no one was too close to that window."

Joe put Adam's pistol down then knowing the threat was over and helped Grace get Adam to his feet and out of the room to the kitchen while Paul took care of Alice. In the kitchen, they removed Adam's shirt by cutting it away to reveal several places where large pieces of glass were still sticking in Adam's side. None were in deep but it was clearly very painful. Joe got water for Grace to use and a stack of cloths. Outside, Roy was taking Turner into town while Candy was using some of the material Joe was going to use on his roof to patch the window. It would block all the light but also keep out any bugs and the cold air. There was some pounding as he did his work, but none was as hard on Adam as the pounding he was getting from Grace for what he had done.

"Why did you do that?"

"I couldn't let him shoot Joe."

"Did you have to protect Joe by putting your body there as a shield?"

"I wasn't trying to shield him. I tried to get both of us out of the way. It would have worked except for the glass."

Joe had a comment to make before he went back to help with Alice who had been shaken even more by this latest incident. "Yeah, he only got hurt because he's so much bigger than me. Not a piece of glass even touched me."

Grace's glare let Joe know she didn't appreciate his flippant comment. He looked to Adam who was trying not to grimace with each thing that Grace did.

"Geez, Adam, is she always like this: like a she bear protecting her cubs?"

"No, not always, but she's worried about me right now. I appreciate that, but keep talking like that and you may find out for yourself what she can be like."

Grace looked up as Adam smiled but she saw the strain in the attempt and felt bad about scolding him when he was in such pain. As Joe left the room, she leaned forward and kissed him softly.

"I'm sorry. It's that I was so damned worried."

"And now you're swearing. Woman, what am I to do with you?" But Adam could see the strain in her face and the tears glistening in her eyes.

"Love me like you always have."

Adam knew how the pressure of the situation was wearing on his wife too even as she tried to hide it. "I will. If you could get the rest of that glass out, I would appreciate it. Every breath I take reminds me that you're not done yet."

"I'm sorry again." Grace got back to her work and soon had all the glass out, bathed the cuts and then bound them up with thick bandages. When she finished, Adam pulled her into an awkward hug because he couldn't move as freely as he wanted with the bandages around his chest. He let her shed a few tears as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Adam. I should be stronger than this."

"No, you're strong but everyone has limits. We need to be strong for each other. I'm here for you right now."

He kissed her softly and she stepped back saying she was better. Then she had him sit at the kitchen table and got him some of the food Hop Sing had sent over. They were able to talk and gradually Grace was able to feel more relaxed. That's where Candy found him when he came inside.

Chapter 11

As Candy talked with Adam, Grace went back to help with Alice. They still expected the baby to arrive that night although they were not sure when it would be.

"Adam, why do you really think Turner came back here? Who was he going to shoot in that room?"

"I don't know. If outlaws and criminals acted logically and intelligently all the time, we wouldn't catch many of them."

"But they go for revenge or panic or do stupid things for a reason we can't understand."

"Exactly. Did the wounded one tell you and Roy anything?"

"Nope. He was hired muscle and had no idea what Turner was going to do next."

"Sometimes I think men like Turner go a little crazy when things don't go their way because they're so used to controlling other men."

"Whatever happened, we got very lucky."

"What? Troian's shot and you're cut."

"She'll be fine and my cuts are minor. Turner and one of his men are dead. We came out way ahead."

"Good overcomes evil."

Both were sitting quietly then when Ben came into the kitchen to get some water and asked where Grace was wanting her to check on Troian.

"She went to help take care of Alice. They think the baby is coming tonight especially after all of this, but Paul thought it was inevitable anyway." Adam answered first.

"Your wife is quite a doctor. You've been lucky to have her to take care of you the past eight years."

"Pa, this is the first time since we've been married that I have been hurt. I was banged about a bit once before that, but until now, that was it. Grace had to really step up to face everything today."

Leaning back against the wall in thought for a short time, Ben had to smile. "It seems four ladies showed a lot of character today. We're very lucky men to have these women in our lives."

Candy went to get Grace to do that as Ben waited. When Grace went to see Troian, Ben sank into a chair next to Adam.

"I've realized too how much I do love Troian now that I know I could have lost her. She's not perfect, and we have a lot to work on yet, but I want her to live."

"That's good, Pa. You know what you want now. That's an important step. We've all made some big steps lately."

"Yes, we have. I think Candy should take you back to the house. Grace has enough to worry about here."

With a nod, Adam agreed surprising his father with his easy acquiescence. Candy smiled too seeing that. Adam noticed and thought perhaps an explanation was in order.

"I met a man, a minister, on the way to Australia, and we became friends. One of his tenets is that we are our habits. If there's something we don't like about ourselves, then we need to look at the habits we've formed and see about changing those. I was too stubborn sometimes and not for the right reasons. Now if I'm stubborn, it's got to be for the right reasons. Otherwise, I need to be more agreeable to what others are suggesting is the right thing to do."

With a better understanding then of why Adam had accepted his advice earlier, Candy went outside to see about getting the carriage ready because Adam wouldn't be able to ride. He came in and asked if Ben knew where there was a blanket because Adam's shirt was in shreds and it was cool outside. Soon they had Adam in the carriage and headed back to the main house. By the early morning, Alice and Joe had welcomed a tiny daughter into the world. She was small but healthy with good lungs. Paul stayed there with them, and Candy was back with the carriage to give Grace a ride to the main house. Ben was asleep in a rocking chair next to Troian asleep in her cot. All was well.

Over the next few weeks, there was healing that had to occur but all went well. The shared trauma and crisis brought the family very close together. Eventually, Adam and Grace had a chance to have a long talk with Jamie to explain the plans they had for the future and his place in them if he wanted it.

"But you still don't have your two houses yet?"

"No, I plan to go to San Francisco to take care of getting a house and finish setting up my business. In fact, Grace and the children will be living here until Christmas because that will be easier for them and give them time to get to know the family better. I'll be back to visit as often as I can. After Christmas, we'll move to the San Francisco house for the spring school term and come back here when it's over at the end of April."

"Where will you live here?"

"At first, we'll live here in the main house, but we're building a house here for us. When it's done, we'll live in that one when we're here."

"And I get to decide where I live?"

"You get some say, but you can't change your mind just because things don't go your way all the time."

"Huh?"

"You can't be in San Francisco with us and get upset with us and then decide you would rather live on the Ponderosa. It won't work that way."

Grace decided to intervene at that point. "You won't be making this decision for quite a while. Nothing has to be decided until after Christmas."

"And I can tell Papa Ben about it and talk to him about it and to Uncle Hoss too?"

"Yes, they know and you can talk to them about it. I know you might think you needed to know first but we had to have their permission to even consider doing this at all so we had to explain what we were thinking. They are in agreement that it might work."

"Might work?"

"It can work if you want it to work."

"Oh." Thinking for a short time, Jamie had another question. "Where would you put your house here?"

"About a mile from this house and closer to the lake. We've picked out a spot. We can show you if you're interested. Abel would like to see the spot too so we could take both of you."

"I'd like to do that." He thought about things a bit longer before he asked the next question. "School is easy here. Will it be easy in San Francisco?"

So Adam had to explain about the school and tutors he planned to arrange for the boys and that it would be difficult to do well. That had Jamie a bit worried but also excited. He had a lot to think about over the next few months, but also had a chance to get to know his stepmother better and his half-brother. Ben and Troian counseled him as did Hoss. He got to spend time with Adam and talk with him on his frequent visits back to Virginia City.

Troian finally felt that she was part of the family. It wasn't only Ben's profession of love, but Hoss told her that her actions showed she was a true Cartwright. She and Adam made peace too forgiving each other and in the process themselves for the mistakes of the past as they agreed to look forward and not back. Jamie was a great child and needed their positive attention.

By the Christmas season, Jamie told them he had made a decision.

"I want to live in San Francisco with Adam and go to school there. I want to get to know my father. Then I want to come back here and live with Papa Ben and my mother until it's time to go back to school. I guess my mind could change again. I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do, but you all said I could change my mind if things didn't work out. So that's what I want to do."

The most relieved at that decision was Troian, and the others were suitably impressed with the boy's reasoned approach to a difficult decision, but of course with Ben, Adam, and Hoss advising him, he had had lots of help formulating it.

There was another announcement though that wasn't unexpected. Prudence said she wasn't going with Adam ad Grace to San Francisco. She was going to stay with Joe and Alice for the winter months and marry Hoss in May. All the while she was talking, Hoss was grinning. Hoss announced that after they married, they hoped they could live in the main house. Ben looked so noticeably relieved that everyone laughed and there were congratulations all around.

Weeks later when Jamie left with Adam and Grace, there were lots of tears and they continued on and off for weeks for Troian who gradually adjusted especially because she knew he would be coming back. It wasn't as permanent a loss as she had anticipated. She and Ben were going to be sharing the parenting of Jamie with Adam and Grace.

EPILOGUE

In April, after the school term had ended, Adam took his family to the shore for a picnic before they returned to the Ponderosa. At one point, he and Jamie were out walking among the tidal pools at low tide. Various types of sea life were temporarily exposed. Jamie made his observations of what they had seen at that point.

"Some of these are beautiful, some are strange, and some are slimy or yucky."

"Yes, life is like that too. Soon, the tide will come back in and cover it all up making it all different again. The when the tide goes out again, this will all be different again too with some things the same and some different."

"I kinda feel that way too."

"What way is that?"

"When we go back to the Ponderosa, some things will be the same and some will be different, won't they?"

"Yes, and things will never be exactly the way they were before."

"But Uncle Hoss will be the same, won't he?"

"Yes, he probably will, but now he's going to be married so some changes may happen with him too. I think the changes will be good though."

"It's all right. With you and Papa Ben and Mama and Mama Grace to help me, I can handle it all. I like having a brother too. Can he live at the house with me when you get your house done?"

"Maybe for a time, but I want him with us most of the time."

"Maybe I'll stay with you some of the time too then."

"I'd like that."

With a nod, Jamie moved next to his father and leaned against him inviting Adam to wrap an arm around him. Adam did and guided him back to shore as the tide slowly began to come back in.


End file.
